When mum of two, 48-year-old Caroline Holmes was referred to Home-Start Bradford District she was a ‘broken woman’. Her six-year-old son was having lots of problems at school, with Caroline being called in to the school several times a week to discuss his ‘behaviour’.
Help has come into her life in the form of Stronger Families Direct Support Worker, Linda Preston and now Caroline feels that she has got a new son thanks to the support and advice Linda has provided.
Caroline’s Story
I had gone to the Job Centre and I was a complete mess. I was literally down on my knees with my son’s behaviour at school and it was impacting on my own mental health and ability to find work.
I seemed to be going into school every day as something would happen daily. My son would attack the teachers, or he would attack other children. The school blamed me and said it must be the way he is parented at home, but I knew that I had brought him up right so that was really upsetting to hear – the headmaster even told me that ‘he was a very naughty boy’! They told me that I needed to put him on a ‘naughty step.’
The Job Centre told me about Stronger Families and suggested that I go speak to them about my son. I was allocated a Stronger Families Keyworker, Charlotte, who is based at the Brathay Trust. She listened to me and how I was struggling with my son. That’s when she told me about Linda, who works for Home-Start Bradford District as their Stronger Families Direct Support Worker and specialises in supporting parents with routines, boundaries and behaviour. Little did I know that Linda coming into our lives would change our world!
When Linda met my son, she asked me if I had considered autism, which I hadn’t. She could see straight away that his issues were not behavioural and when I sat back and observed him – I knew she was right. He would move his arms like windscreen wipers and click his fingers when he was anxious. He can’t sit still – he’s very bouncy and doesn’t like people around him, yet he will happily talk to people.
A paediatrician got involved and agreed that Samuel had got autism. Linda explained that when you have autism, then your brain is organised differently, and our first priority was to calm my son. We could do this by using an egg timer to bring more order into his life so he can cope with transitions better. I never would have thought an egg timer could make all the difference – but it has.
Samuel loves a start and a finish and he knows that when the egg timer goes off, it is time to do whatever is next in our routine, such as getting dressed, brushing teeth, teatime, etc. We have also made a star chart, and he removes stars each day to count down to activity he is looking forward to.
The school have now taken on board that Samuel has autism and have a Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator to support his learning and needs. If it hadn’t been for Linda’s support, I would not have had the courage to face the teachers after they had made me feel that it was all my fault: I would even sit in lessons for two hours to be there for him and to support the teachers.
When I think back to that day at Job Centre, I didn’t want someone coming into our lives, but I knew I needed someone for my son. I hated myself as a mum and I was finding it really hard to like my son. I was such a disbeliever in support, but Linda has truly changed our lives around – she’s amazing.
I feel like I have a new son this year and that’s wonderful. Not only that, I am a stonger person thanks to Linda and Charlotte.
About Stronger Families
Home-Start Bradford District are specialist providers for the Stronger Families Programme. Linda Preston is our Stronger Families’ Direct Support Worker.
Stronger Families’ keyworkers will identify a specific need within the family and Linda will work closely with the keyworker to support the family with that need, which could be around routines, boundaries and behaviour.
Stronger Families is part of the Building Better Opportunities programme, and is funded by the European Social Fund and The National Lottery Community Fund.
