Mum of two young sons, Leila*, 40, was in her own words ‘broken and exhausted’. Her world was so overwhelming as her youngest son had epilepsy, which in turn was affecting her mental health and his older sibling’s mental health. Home-Start Bradford District then came into Leila’s life…
Leila’s Story
When my younger son was born, he was diagnosed with a rare form of meningitis at two weeks old. He was in hospital for four weeks on strong antibiotics, but the disease was so severe that the fluid on his brain built up and he had to have a shunt fitted to release fluid into his stomach.
The disease and bleed caused permanent brain tissue damage which led to a speech and global development delay.
My son is now five and has been for surgery several times as the shunt does get blocked and needs replacing as a blockage is life threatening. He was also diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of three.
Despite all of these challenges, my little chap is confident, independent and happy – he lights up the room he walks into and he makes every person smile with his gorgeous long lashes and beautiful smile.
When Home-Start Bradford District came into my life a couple of years ago, I was at a point where I was really struggling. I had just left work due to extra pressure as my son, having recently been diagnosed with epilepsy, was starting to have seizures. This was causing me distress and I was finding it difficult to manage his sibling’s and my own mental health as well as my household daily living. I had spent a lot of time in the hospital and I felt broken and exhausted and this was affecting those around me.
I spoke to my doctors regarding my mental health and found out about Home-Start Bradford District through an Early Help referral.
I was initially reluctant at first to bring someone into my house – a complete stranger, but my Home-Start Bradford District Family and Volunteer Coordinator made me feel so at ease and really listened to my needs. I had no idea if it would help or how, but I was willing to give it ago as I really needed some support within my household. We were matched to a young woman.
I was still reluctant on how this would help but was impressed that something had been put in place so quickly and that the pairing process had been spot on. My volunteer peer support worker was so flexible and adapted well to our needs. First impressions really did count and the ease at which the service had started really impressed me. I felt that I could do something as basic as chores whilst the volunteer engaged with my sons. I just took each week as it came and as this was a service I had not used before I didn’t expect too much.
My volunteer made a massive positive impact on our life and household. I have limited family support and therefore to have someone come in and hit the ground running was refreshing. She was the type of person that would always say yes and be willing to get her hands dirty in order to help assist and ensure we got things done together.
She helped in so many ways. Initially she helped with my eldest son, who was suffering from anxiety and distress due to his brother’s illness and extra needs. She played activities indoors and outdoors and she also helped him with his homework. She built a good strong bond with them both.
I also felt comfortable with opening up and discussing my concerns with her regarding my mental health and we went out for a coffee which gave me the opportunity to socialise and speak to someone that I knew would not judge. I felt the trust become stronger every week.
We visited a few play gyms and parks, having the extra pair of eyes and support really helped and she was always willing to get stuck in and help where she could. She even helped me put together some garden toys and equipment which helped as I am so bad at building things!
I would highly recommend anyone who needs extra support to use this service. I was reluctant at first but both Home-Start Bradford staff and my volunteer made me feel so at ease and really listened and cared for me and my sons. She was also flexible given my son’s medical needs as we had to rearrange a few times due to him falling ill.
The Family and Volunteer Coordinator also brought the children some gifts in her review meetings with me and went out of her way to help and offer advice with some concerns I had regarding my son’s routines. It was a very positive experience and this is what I share with other parents that I meet whom I feel would benefit from a service like this. I just wish it could have been longer.
I would like to say a big thank you and appreciation for all those volunteers within this service and maybe one day in the future, once things settle with my children, I may take on a role of volunteer and be able to help someone too!
*names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
